Family Counseling
by Lala J
Summary: Same story, new chapter.
1. The Things I Can't Stand About You

**_Family Counseling_**

Chapter 1: The Things I Can't Stand About You

Author's Notes: I 'm sorry I didn't finish my other story I just thought I'd write something funny for a change.

**The host of the show is me, Junnie55 but my name in this fic will be Crystal^_~ **

**Crystal**: Hello everybody and welcome to Family Counseling! Our first guest is the family looked at as being the Osbournes' without all the pets. Let's give a warm welcome to the Mishimas, Kazamas and yes, he's included, Lee Chaolan! (Audience booos)

 (Hiehachi, Kazuya, Jun, Jin, and Lee walk out in that order and take their seats,)

**Crystal****:** So how is everybody doing today?

**Hiehachi****: **Well I have a sore throat after yelling in a argument with Kazuya this morning over breakfast.

**Kazuya: **Well it's not my fault you asked Lee to cook breakfast you dumbass!

**Hiehachi****: **Well who else is suppose to cook?

**Lee: **HEY!! My cooking's not that bad! 

**Kazuya:** Oh yeah?! Give me one good reason why the bottle of Pepto-Bismol is empty!

**Lee:………..**

**Crystal****:** (sweat dropping) Okay, maybe we should move on, next question. Name one person that annoys you the most.

**Hiehachi****:** (looks at Kazuya and then rolls his eyes) I think we all know the answer to that question.

**Kazuya: **Well I have to say my so called 'father' sitting next to me who's thrown his oldest son off a cliff MORE THAN ONCE!!!

**Hiehachi****:** It was for your own good!

**Kazuya:** For my own good?! I'll show you 'for my own good!'(Gets up out of the chair about to throw a punch at him when Jun jumped up and grabbed Kazuya's arm)

**Jun:** Kazuya!! Calm down, besides that was years ago.

**Kazuya: **You're so lucky I love you. ^_^ 

**Jun:** I know. That's why I love you too honey!!(Hugs him and then they somehow started making out right there in front of the audience)

**Crystal****:** Ahem. Ahem. (Clears throat) AHEM! This is rated PG so don't think mean you can just stand there and make out all over my stage.

**Jun:** (sticks her tongue out at Crystal and sits down accepting what she just said)

**Jin: **Well now that that little episode of "Sex and the City" is over, I'd like to tell you what I think about a certain someone up here who has left me to be raised by my mother alone for almost more than half of my life. (Just for the record, no I do not watch Sex and the City, I just heard of it.) 

**Kazuya: **I died and had to be resurrected so technically that's not really my fault.

**Jun:** And what's so bad about being raised by me? What did I do that was so wrong?

**Jin:** #1.Dad, no one told you had to go to the second tournament and get thrown off a cliff! #2.And Mom, you didn't do anything wrong it's just that I was hoping to be born into a family with two NORMAL parents instead of having one who hates me for no reason and one who is just a little overprotective about their only son.

**Jun:** Well Jin, I'm soooo sorry if I get worried if my son stays out till at least 2:00 in the morning without even calling me to tell me your okay!

**Kazuya:** (holds his hand over his mouth trying desperately not to laugh, but obviously failed)

**Jun:** Oh and I know you're not laughing 'Mr. I don't know how to give my wife a quality anniversary present after not seeing her in more than 10 YEARS!!

**Kazuya:** I'm sorry Jun, but I tried my best. Besides who needs anniversary presents after all of the ones I gave you before you had Jin?

**Jun:** (remembers she has a closest full of presents at home) I guess your right. Oh Kazuya I can't stay mad at you forever! (Gives Kazuya a quick kiss on the cheek)

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**Lee:** I can't stand how I'm always being fucking assumed as being gay and I'm not! (Whispers softly to himself) Dammit why did Kazuya have to find out about my situation with Steve! (Remembers how he asked Steve out to a date and got rejected)

**Kazuya:** Admit it. You're gay and everybody knows it!

**Lee:** See what I mean? Kazuya, you smart ass, I can't wait till after this show is over so I could whoop your ass!

**Kazuya:** (bursts out laughing) You? Lee Chaolan, whoop my ass? I'd love to see you try.

**Lee:** GRRRRRRRRRR…….

**Crystal****:** Okay people, let's move on shall we. Next topic, the deepest and darkest secrets of their love lives!! We'll be right back after these few commercials so don't go anywhere folks, this show shall continue!

**_Author's Notes:_**  I don't know if you liked it but I thought it was pretty funny for my first chapter, let me know what you think! (Review please; it'll help me feel better considering I've got no reviews for my other story.) Next Chapter: Is There Room for Love on the Battlefield, is coming soon! See-Ya! ^_~ 


	2. The Deepest and Darkest Secrets of Their...

**_Family Counseling_**

**_Chapter 2: _**The Deepest and Darkest Secrets of Their Love Lives

**Author's Notes:** Before I begin writing, I'd like to give a special thank you to anyone who has read my story. I'm dealing with a serious case of writers block so this chapter might be how I would have wanted it to be. Now let the show begin!

(Audience is clapping)

**Crystal****:** Hello and welcome back to Family Counseling. Now we are going to move onto our next topic, the deepest and darkest secrets of their love lives!

**Jin: **(mumbling to himself) Oh no, this has got to be the worst topic of the day. But then again I can't wait to see the expression on Dad's face once they start asking him all those weird questions. He is going to look so clueless! (Starts laughing quietly)

**Crystal****:** Okay, first question, Hiehachi, just exactly how old are you?

**Hiehachi:** Well umm…(Clears throat) my hair is naturally grey like Lee's hair so I'm at least 40 years old.

**Jin:** Yeah right you old fart bag! 

**Hiehachi:** You're so ugly you didn't rob the bank with a gun; you robbed it with your ugly hair! (In a squeaky voice) The hair was saying," Put the money in the bag!"

**Jin:** Well, you're so fat; you sat on a dollar and made change!

**Jun: **Must you two argue every single second of the day!

**Crystal****:** Yes please, let's stop this arguing so we can get back to the show. So I suppose everyone's love life is cool, right?

**Jun: **Our relationship is great! Right, Kazzy?

**Kazuya**: (Puts his hand over his face in embarrassment) Yeah, sure, whatever.

**Lee: **(Laughing at Kazuya's embarrassment) you should hear what he calls her.

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(Audience starts laughing)

**Jun:** What? What's wrong with --- (she was cut off)

**Kazuya:** Just don't say anything. You'll only be making it worse.

**Crystal****:** Hmmm….Kazzy sounds cute! ^_^Anyway, you two are truly in love with each other aren't you?

**Jun:** Of course; we've been married for at least 19 years.

**Kauzya:** Can I just skip these questions? I'm not the type of person who likes to talk about these things on television.

**Jin:** How can you say that when everyone just saw you and Mom about to demonstrate how to celebrate an anniversary if you know what I mean. (Remembers how Kazuya and Jun were kissing on the stage.)

**Kazuya: **What do you know about anniversaries you little brat!

**Jin:** I am so sick and tired of you calling me a little brat! You runaway father!

**Lee:** I don't want to even attempt to try and imagine what THEIR anniversary is like.

**Kazuya:** Like I said earlier, I died so I have an excuse!

**Crystal****: Back to the subject guys, so what about you Jin?**

**Jin:** Oh me? I would like to let all of my fans know that I am officially single. (Girls in the crowd cheered loudly)

**Hiehachi:** Oh gosh, why did he have to be the pretty boy of the family?

**Lee:** I thought you liked Xiayou, Jin?

**Jin:** I don't know about her anymore. Her voice gets kind of annoying after a while.

**Lee: **Well as for me, I'm trying to stay away from relationships for now since I'm still trying to get over something. (Thinks about Steve) 

**Crystal****:** Now you al say that you're doing fine with relationships but after what I've seen, maybe someone up here is being a little dishonest and won't admit it.

**Jun:** What do you mean by," After what I've seen"?

**Jin: **I hope she isn't thinking what I think she's thinking.

**Crystal****:** Well guess what Jin? It's exactly what I'm thinking!

**Jin:** Why me?

**Crystal:** Maybe it's you're lucky day!

**Jin:** Lucky day my ass.

**Crystal****:** Geez, looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Or maybe it was just Lee's cooking.

 **Jin:** (gets up out of his seat and yawns loudly and stretches knocking over a hot cup of coffee onto Jun's white dress from the opening movie of Tekken Tag Tournament, while at the same time making it look like Kazuya did it)

**Jun:** (screamed and jumped out of the seat) what the hell? What in the hell is wrong with you? (Slapped Kazuya across his cheek and the crowd oooohed and then it became silent)

**Kazuya:** ……. (Speechless; holds his now temporarily red cheek)

 **Crystal****: Whoa, slow down Jun! Whatever happened to the nice and peaceful Jun just a couple of seconds ago?**

**Lee:** This is what we like to call her devil side.

**Kazuya:** Hate to say it but I couldn't agree more.

**Jun:** Well, what do you have to say for yourself?

**Kazuya:** (tries to help wipe off the top of her shirt) I'm sorry honey but it wasn't me.

**Jun:** (pushes Kazuya away from her) Will you just stop it!

**Crystal****: It wasn't? Then who was it?**

**Jin:** …. (Knowing he was going to get caught eventually, he gave up) alright it was me.

**Jun:** What!! I did not spend 9 months, 17 days, and 45 hours and 27 seconds of labor alone for you to spill burning hot coffee on my beautiful dress on LIVE TELEVISION!!!

**Jin:** Geez Mom, sorry. Aren't you overreacting a little, I mean it's only a dress anyway.

**Lee:** Jin just doesn't understand women what so ever. One spot on their clothes and their "absolutely perfect dress" and their ready to explode.

**Jun:** ONLY A DRESS!! How dare you! I wore this dress for me and Kazuya's first anniversary! You have absolutely no idea how hard it is to clean this do you?

**Hiehachi: **Well no one told you to wear it Jun.

**Jun: **Oh shut up you dirty old man!

**Crystal****: Enough with all the name calling. And as far as Jun's dress, I'm terribly sorry but we have to move on with the show.**

**Jun:** (Sits down calmly) No it's okay, I'll live. It's not the end of the world.

**Lee:** (mumbling) with the way you were acting it sure did seem like it.

**Crystal****: Well what I was thinking about was the secret video footage I have received from an anonymous but very generous source. (Looks at Nina) Lights, camera, action!**

(Plays video tape)

**Jin:** Hey what's up Xiaoyu!

**Xiayou:** Hi Jin! (Gives him a kiss on the cheek then the video stops)

**Crystal:** "Officially single" huh?

**Jin:** Well…I…uhhh...me and Xiaoyu are just friends. As a matter of fact, we broke up that night.

**Crystal****: Really? Well we have another guest who disagrees with you on that subject. Give a round of applause for Jin's "supposed friend", Xiaoyu!**

(Xiaoyu stomps on stage)

**Xiaoyu:** How can you sit up there and lie about such a thing?! You know you love me!

**Jin:** What? (Says angrily) I have no idea what you're talking about!

**Xiaoyu:** You know what, me and Mr. Kazama are about to have a serious conversation, we'll be right back!

(Xiaoyu pulls Jin off the stage by his ear)

**Jun:** (laughing a little) well at least me and Kazuya don't have to worry about things like that.

**Crystal:** That's not what the video tape says, or is it? (Plays video tape)

**Anna:**  Hey what's up Kazuya? How about me and you can go over my house sometime. (Video stops without showing Kazuya's response)

**Jun:** Anna, that hoe! (Slapped Kazuya assuming that he slept with her)

**Kazuya:** I'm sorry Jun, but I didn't—(was cut off when the video tape continued)

**Kazuya:** I'm sorry Anna, but I committed to Jun. I just couldn't do that to her even if wanted to.

**Anna:** Jun? Oh that little bitch! I can't stand her! And besides, I never really liked you anyway. (Video stops)

**Kazuya:** --didn't sleep with her.

**Jun:** (gasped and held her hand over her mouth looking surprised) Oh, I'm sorry Kazzy. Can you forgive me?

**Kazuya:** Sure, I understand. (Jun hugs him and gives him a kiss and the audience makes gives applause)

**Crystal****: Awww, that's so sweet! ^_^ Anyway, let's get a call from one of our fans. (Answers the phone) Hello, who is this and what's your question?**

**Caller:** My name is Amy and I have a question for Kazuya and Jun. How are you able to make out like that and not want to sleep with each other?

**Jun: **We know how to control ourselves.

**Crystal****:** Hmmm…good question. Speaking of making out, let's take a look at the last piece of our video tape shall we? (plays video tape)

(In this scene of the tape, Jun and Kazuya are making out behind the scenes of Tekken Tag Tounament, and then as soon as Kazuya is about to take Jun's shirt off the video stopped for the last time)

**Crystal****: Now we couldn't let that continue now could we?**

**Jun:** Hey how'd you get that?

**Kazuya:** (grins) Oh yeah I remember that day.

**Jun:** (slapped Kazuya on the back of his head) that's private information!

**Lee:** (laughs very loudly)****

****

**Jun:** Oh shut up Lee! At least I know how to cook!

**Lee:** I was just following orders from that guy. (Points to Hiehachi)

**Hiehachi:** Hey enough with the criticism I learned my lesson about Lee's cooking.

**Jun:** I can cook 10 times better than he could ever even dream of! (Jin suddenly appears walking slowly towards his seat with a bandage across is cheek) Jin?

**Crystal****, Hiehachi, Kazuya, Jun and Lee: What happened to you?**

**Jin:** I tripped and fell backstage.

**Crystal****: (everyone except for Jin is sweatdropping) Keep telling yourself that. Now the time has come for everyone to confess their deepest and darkest ---(cut off by Kazuya)**

**Kazuya:** Dirtiest, stupidest, craziest, weirdest secr---(cut off by Crystal)

**Crystal****:** Okay Kazuya we get the point.

**Hiehachi: **I have no secrets because I have no love life.

**Jin:** Really well how did you have Kazuya as your son? And don't even try to say he's adopted.

**Hiehachi:** Mind your business!

**Lee:** Well my secret is that my true hair color is black.

**Jin:** Yeah right. Anyway my secret is that well now that the whole thing with Xiaoyu is over, I can finally admit that yes, I do have feelings for Julia.

**Kazuya:** Julia? Well she's not that ugly.

**Jun:** What about me?

**Kazuya:** (grinning) you already know how I feel about you.(Jun just laughs and wraps her arm around Kazuya's) oh and before I forget I'd like to say I have no secrets.

**Jun:** (almost shyly she unwrapped her arm from Kazuya) Well not exactly Kazuya.

**Kazuya:** (In a concerned voice) what do you mean?

**Jun:** I don't know how to say this but I…..uhhh….I'm….(in a low voice) pregnant.

**Kazuya:** (speechless)

**Crystal, Jin, Lee, and Hiehachi:** Pregnant?

**Hiehachi:** So that explains the grouchy attitude.

**Jun:** Yup, I'm sorry for not saying anything but I just couldn't keep the secret any longer.

**Jin:** (buries his face in his hands) Why must I be cursed with another these people to live with?

**Jun:** How are you cursed? I'm the one who has to carry the baby for the next 9 months.

**Lee:**Hey look on the bright side Jin; you could always have someone to boss around.

**Jin:** (realizing his point) Hey you're not so bad after all Uncle Lee!

**Crystal****:** Now onto the next ques---- (cut off by Jun)

**Jun:** No more questions!! We have to get a commercial break. I mean you don't honestly believe that I'm going to sit here soaked in coffee do you?

**Crystal****:** Okay I see your point. Well you heard Ms. Kazama; it's time for another commercial break! We'll be right back after this message from our sponsors to talk about what spending the holidays with them are like!

**_Author's Notes:_** Well that's it for chapter two! Sorry about the length of this chapter; I didn't expect to have so many ideas. Hope you liked it. And always remember,**_ READ AND REVIEW!!_** ^_^ until next time……

Next Chapter: Spending the Holidays with the Mishimas, Kazamas, and we still can't forget Choalan!!

                                                              ~~~Junnie55~~~                   

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	3. Spending The Holidays With The Mishimas,...

**_Family Counseling_**

**_Chapter 3:Spending The Holidays with the Mishimas, Kazamas, and we still can't forget Chaolan!_**

**__**

**_Author's Notes:_**

This was once again another hard chapter to write but I hope you like it.

((Jun has changed her clothes to the black capris and the white button up shirt during the commercial break)

**Crystal****:** Hi folks! Glad to se you're still here enjoying this wonderful fic "Family Counseling"! And now its time to talk about "What Its like to Spend the Holidays with the Mishimas, Kazamas, and Choalan!"

**Kazuya**: This has to be the worst topic of the whole show.

**Crystal**: Really? Well sorry you feel that way but that's just too bad! Now for our first question, what is your favorite holiday or special occasion?

**Lee**: I like my birthday the most out of anything.

**Hiehachi**: Hey I know why Lee chose his birthday!

**Lee**: What do you mean by that?

**Hiehachi**: It's the only way people would pay him any attention.

**Lee**: How dare you insult me like that you dirty old man!

**Heihachi**: (sounding sad) Hey I'm not that old.

**Kazuya**: Who cares about you anyway?

**(Loud fan from the audience):** ME!

**Kazuya**: Well I don't! Besides we should talk about more important things, like me.

**Lee:** You? Since when were you ever so important?

**Kazuya**: I've always been important. I'm the main character here. IAM Tekken.  I mean where would the series be without me?

**Hiehachi**: What about me? I've been in every game of the entire Tekken series!

**Jin**: Yeah, he does have a point.

**Kazuya**: Well without me, he would have no one to throw off a cliff and there would be no one for him to throw off a cliff. Now would there?

**Jin**: Well geez, you're both right.

**Heihachi**: Oh I don't need you for anything!

**Lee**: This is what I have to deal with. (Sighed) Family issues.

**Kazuya**: Anyway, back to the topic. (Evil grin) I like April Fools Day!

**Jun**: (says sarcastically) and I wonder why?

**Crystal**: Well, why?

**Kazuya**: That's simple. I like doing pranks on people like Heihachi! He's the easiest person to get!

**Heihachi**: Whatever.

**Jin**: I like Spring Break. No school and plenty of time to go party!

**Jun**: (Evil suspicious glare) Party? What party?

**Jin**: (Says shakily) Oh... um …party? What party? Did I say party? (Slightly laughing) I meant to say sleep!

**Jun**: Sleep?!!! With a room looking like yours, the last thing you want to do is sleep!

**Jin** (Embarrassed) MOM!! Not on TV!

**Jun**: Well we will talk about this when we get home!

**Jin**: I'm doomed already.

**Crystal**: So what's your favorite holiday Jun?

**Jun**: (says very happily) I like Valentine's Day and Easter!

**Kazuya**: Somehow I'm not surprised.

**Jin**: How can she jump from being so angry to being so happy like that?

**Kazuya**: That's one thing about your mother I can never understand.

**Hiehachi:** I don't have favorite holiday. I don't have time to spend on such things.

**Kazuya**: You're a bad liar, you know that right?

**Hiehachi**: Actually, no.

**Kazuya**: Don't think I forgot about that prank you did when you put that toy snake in my bed when I was sleeping!

**Hiehachi**: Oh yeah that was a good prank wasn't it? The snake looked so real too, I wonder what would happen if I put a real one in there?

**Kazuya**: Go to hell, you piece of shi---

**Jun**: Kazuya! What did I say about all that foul language?!

**Kazuya**: Ooops! Sorry dear, I forgot you were here for a split second there.

**Jun**: Since when was I ever invisible?

**Kazuya**: I didn't say you were.

**Jun**: Obviously that's what you meant if you didn't notice me.

**Kazuya**: ( Thinking to himself)_This is the kind of criticism I have to take for the next 9 months!_(out loud)Well geez I'm sorry; what else do you want me to say?

**Crystal**: Hey you two, if you haven't noticed were in the middle of a show here! Alright now what is one holiday that you don't like? And why?

**Jun**: My birthday is probably the weirdest time of the year. Each year something new and weird happens. Like last year, Hiehachi almost burnt down the house trying to burn the candles for my cake!

**Hiehachi**: It was an accident! Besides it's not like it was on purpose now was it?

**Lee**: I'm not sure if any one can believe you about that one.

**Hiehachi**: You calling me a liar?

**Lee**: (In his mind) _Of course I'm calling you a liar you dumbass!_ (Out loud) What do you think?

**Hiehachi**: Why you little ---

**Jin**: One holiday I hat is--- 

**Hiehachi**: Wait a second! Who do you think you are cutting me off in the middle of my sentence like that?

**Jin**: I think I'm Jin Kazama. That's who.

**Hiehachi**: You little brat!

**Kazuya**: Hey! I'm the only one who can call him that!

**Jin**: Yeah! Wait, what am I saying?

**Jun**: Nobody can call him that!

**Hiehachi**: And why is that?

**Jun**: Because I said so! Nobody and I mean NOBODY calls MY son a brat and gets away with it! And if you got a problem with that, you can kiss my ass!

**Jin**: If I was a girl, by the way her attitude is right now, I wouldn't even want to be near her.

**Hiehachi**: What's with the attitude?

**Kazuya**: I can't believe he just asked that question.

**Crystal**: (Before Jun could say anything) let's just forget about it, shall we?

**Jun**: Yeah, you're right. Sorry once again about the language but sometimes I can't help myself. 

**Lee:** Well I remember one year no one gave me any presents!

**Jin**: I guess no one felt like going out and buying any.

**Lee**: You people are the laziest group of people I've ever seen!  
  


**Jun**: I know you're not calling me lazy!

**Lee**: ---

**Crystal**: (interrupting quickly) well, well, well, look at the time folks! Looks like we have to stop again for another commercial break! As you can see we...uh…need to fix something with our program briefly. But in the meantime you just sit back and watch the commercials! Next time we'll talk about our next topic, "There's A First Time For Everything"! Stay tuned!

**_Author's Notes:_**

Phew! That was not as easy as I expected but I guess I managed to do it. Hoped you like it! And always, remember to **_REVIEW_**!

^_~

~~Junnie~~

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	4. Sorry!

Sorry but I'm not going to be updating any of my stories any time soon except for A New Life's Beginning. As for the rest of my stories, I'll finish them later. This is only because of a personal issue; I'll try to continue writing as soon as I can.

~~Lala-Ducky~~


	5. There's A First Time For Everything!

Family Counseling

Chapter 4: There's A First Time for Everything!

Authors Notes:

I am extremely sorry for the wait for this chapter but I had some issues to deal with. Now that they're over with I'll continue my writing! Thanks to everyone who waited for this chapter! Now let the show continue! (And always remember, please review the story! This is the last chapter anyway. )

**Crystal**: Welcome back everyone!

**Kazuya**: (Mumbling through his teeth) that had to have been the longest commercial break I've seen in my entire lifetime.

**Hiehachi**: For once, I think I can actually agree with you about that.

**Crystal**: Anyway the next topic is "There's A First Time for Everything"!

(Everyone else on the stage sighs)

**Crystal**: Geez, what's with you people and your endless complaining?

**Kazuya**: Can't help it, it runs in the family.

**Heihachi**: (Mumbling) Another reason why I threw you off the cliff.

**Kazuya**: Were you saying something old man?

**Heihachi**: Oh I wasn't saying anything.

**Kazuya**: Really?

**Heihachi**: Stop asking me so many questions so we can continue with the show!

**Crystal**: Well, like he said, lets continue. For our first question. When was the first time this family started having these problems that we all have seemed to witness?

**Heihachi**: Ever since _he_ (pointing to Kazuya) was born.

**Kazuya**: (Sweatdroppoing) I knew he'd say something like that.

Jin: (giggling)

Heihachi: I don't know what you're laughing at; when you were born you continued all this drama.

Jin: Grrrrrr…….. (Glares at Heihachi)

Lee: This family is hopeless.

Jun: Sorry Lee, but I don't even think hopeless is enough to describe it.

Crystal: Now we see there's a terrible conflict here but is there anyone who ever tried to solve it?

Jun: We've tried almost everything.

Heihachi: (Glaring at Jin) Well giving birth to that thing that's staring at me sure didn't help, did it?

Jun: Well, you call throwing your son off a cliff helping to solve anything?

Kazuya: (sighs) here we go again.

Lee: Actually, it solved his problems of having to raise him as a child.

Jun & Heihachi: Nobody asked you anything Lee!

Lee: Well EXCUSE me for stating my opinion.

Crystal: Okay, obviously these questions are only making things worse….

Jin: Well that's all you can expect from a family like this.

Crystal: Well, I have another question. When was the first time anyone in this family told a lie?

Jun: ………

Kazuya: …………..

Jin: ………….

Lee: ……….

Heiahchi: I never told a lie.

Kazuya: How dare you say such a thing?

Heihachi: I've been completely honest with you people. Otherwise I wouldn't be telling you I hate you so much all the time!

Kazuya: Well, you lie about your age all the time! Although I don't understand why. You look older than you actually are anyway.

Heihachi: Grrr…..

Crystal: (Ignoring the arguing on stage, she just sighs and lays her head down on her desk.) I should've never taken this job.

Lee: Well how about, when was the first time anyone ever said anything nice to me?

Kazuya: Who knows? But that's a good question.

Jin: Yeah but we all know the answer to that question.

Lee: and what would that be?

Jin: Nobody has said anything nice to you. You would've figured that in all the years of your life, you would've noticed that no one really cares too much about you.

Lee: Why not?

Jin: Because they care about me the most. I'm the star of this family! (Cheesy smile)

Kazuya: You may be the so-called star of the family but I'm still the star of Tekken.

Crystal: (Mumbling angrily) not that again.

Jin: Whatever, who cares anyway.

Jun: Here's a question—

Crystal: (with a HUGE attitude) Oh great! Now everyone wants to ask questions! That's supposed to be my job! (says sneakily) Unless……anyone up here wants to be a host for the rest of this show?

Kazuya: I couldn't picture myself being a host.

Crystal: Well then fine. Let me ask all the questions here and everything will go as planned so you crazy people can go home and I can get another job!

Jun: (Whispering to Jin) Looks like she's the one who needs the counseling now.

Jin: (Just nods his head approvingly)

Crystal: (sighs) Now that I've gotten that fixed, how about another question?

Heihachi: (sarcastically) Sure everyone loves questions.

Crystal: (also being sarcastic) yeah and everyone loved your outfit at the fourth tournament.

Heihachi: Which one?

Crystal: You know which one I'm talking about.

Jin: I get a weird feeling any time anyone even mentions that outfit.

Heihachi: Actually I don't know what you're talking about.

Crystal: How could you possibly forge—anyway before I take that too far. For the next part of the show, I'll be taking a few calls from some of the fans! (Audience cheers)

Crystal: Okay, for our first caller, what's your name and what is your question for us today?

Caller#1: My name is Lei Wu--umm…(pathetically attempts to disguise his voice) well actually I'd rather not say my name. My question is when will Jun realize that she should be with a great fighter like Lei Wulong instead of that pathetic Kazuya?!

Jun: Okay Mr. So-called caller #1, I hope you don't seriously think I would leave Kazuya for Lei, I just don't think that would ever happen, sorry.

Caller#1(Lei): But WHY NOT? Lei is the coolest fighter in Tekken!

Heihachi:…..(Suddenly laughs outrageously loud)

Jun: Lei is a nice person, but I'd rather be with Kazuya.

Crystal: Well that was a nice part of the show even though it was a little off the topic. Anyway, let's go to the next caller!

Caller#1: Hey wait I wasn't finished talki--(crystal hangs up the phone on "Caller #1")

Crystal: Okay, like I said, hello Caller #2, what's your name?

Caller#2: (Xiayou's voice on the phone) When was the first time Jin said he loved me (coughed)---sorry I ment Xiayou?

Jin: No comment….

Caller #2(Xiayou): NO COMMENT! What do you mean "No comment"? I demand that you answer my question! Pwetty Pwease?

Jin: (Quickly hangs up the phone before Crystal could say anything to the "Caller") Like I said, no comment.

Crystal: Oookay….onto our next and final caller, hello, you're lucky Caller #3!

Caller#3: What makes me so lucky? Do I when I prize or something?

Crystal: Well sorry to disappoint you, but no you don't win anything. I just said lucky to make it seem more interesting. But what's you're question?

Caller#3: I'd like to ask, will there ever be a first time this family has a moment of peace with each other?

Crystal: Asking for that is impossible…

Jun: It would be nice if something like that happened but it would so weird.

Jin: Yeah, our house would be so boring.

Lee: I'd have to agree with Jin and Jun. Do you have any idea how funny it is to just sit there and listen to their pathetic arguments around the house?

Kazuya: Yeah but those arguments aren't so pathetic when their about you, now are they Lee?!

Lee:….

Crystal: Well, I guess that's all folks! Anything you'd want to say before we end this show?

Hiehachi: I'm the coolest Mishima! (mumbles) Kazuya is such a loser…

Kazuya: You are nowhere near cool, however on the other hand, I'm what you would call cool! (evil laugh)

Jin: (Sighs) One last thing I would say is to anyone who's watching this show, don't believe anything Xiayou tells you about me!

Xiayou(backstage): Hey! I'm not a liar!

Jun: I'd like to say this was one of the weirdest shows I've ever been on.

Lee: That's because we were in it.

Crystal: And that is the finale of Final Counseling! I can finally get a new job and this crazy family can finally go home, See ya!

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Well, I have finally completed the story!! Now I can finally finish up my other stories! This story has been very fun to write, and I'd like to say thank you to every one who has ever reviewed any of my chapters. Your reviews inspire me to continue writing!

Until next time, see ya!

Lala J.


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